Kerry Beck's Blog

Wives have a huge impact on their husbands.

We see this vividly in 2 Chronicles 21.  The past few chapters have told stories of Jehoshaphat and Asa, kings of Israel.  Both of these kings followed God and so did the nation of Judah at that time.  When Jehoshaphat dies, his son, Jehoram, takes the throne and kills all of his brothers.  What happened?  Jehoram was raised by a man of God, one who led Judah in the ways of the Lord.

As I read further, I discover that Jehoram married Ahab’s daughter.

He walked in the way of the kings of Israel, just as the house of Ahab had done, for he had the daughter of Ahab as a wife.  2 Chronicles 21:6

Ahab walked according to the kings of Israel…not following God but living for himself.  Ahab’s daughter influenced Jehoram to turn from his upbringing and live to please himself.

As I read this short story, I see 2 ways it impacts my life (& hopefully yours)

1.  First, as we look to ourselves as wives.

What type of impact do you have on your husband?

Positive or Negative.
Godly or Ungodly.
Patient or Impatient.

The list can go on & on.  You have an impact on your husband, just like I do.  I want to strive to encourage him as he endeavors to follow the Lord, lead our family and impact the world for Jesus Christ.  For me, this means keeping our home in some sort of order so he can enjoy our time together as a family.  I don’t need to put pressure on him to do “my job” as a homeschool mom & housewife when he gets finished with work.

I also need to wholeheartedly support his decisions about our family & ministry, even if I don’t agree.  We usually talk about the direction we are going, but he is ultimately responsible to God.  To be honest, we don’t have many differing opinions about this, but when we do I respectfully submit to his decision.

2.  Next we look to our children as they choose their spouse.

As my children choose spouses, we need to encourage them to go beyond simply being a believer and choose wisely in all areas of life.  We’ve discussed with our older girls the importance of looking at their overall values.  Do they value family and work ethic? What type of character do they have?  How will they raise their children?

You may not agree on every issue of life with your future in-law children.   We don’t.  But, we do see a loving spouse, whose life perspective is similar to ours and wants to follow the Lord as he grows in his marriage.

In conclusion, we learn that God curses Jehoram and his household.  Jehoram’s intestines will coume out by reason of his sickness.  God doesn’t put up with those who “play the harlot”.

And his people made no burning for him, like the burning for his fathers. . . to no one’s sorrow departed.  However they buried him in the City of David, but not in the tombs of the kings.  2 Chronicles 21:20

Jehoram acted cruelly and was greatly influenced by his wife.  Jehoram receives what he deserves – no pity from his people and no glory from God.

As a wife & mother, I desire to support and encourage my husband in godly endeavors, both within my family and outside my family.  I also desire my children to marry godly spouses so they may encourage each other as they follow God’s leading.

As a continuation to the story above, I’d like to make a few notes about the next king, Ahaziah.  Ahaziah was Jehoram’s youngest son.  He became king because his older brothers had been killed.  At the beginning of his story, we read:

He also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, for his mother advised him to do wickedly.  2 Chronicles 22:3

Once again we see the influence of women upon men.  This time, it is a mother’s influence on her son.  And it is NOT good.  Ahab only reigns 1 year and is killed after an ambush that the Lord sets up.

Although this story shows the negative impact of moms on their sons, you can have a positive impact on your son.  Guide him to be a strong man of God.  How do you do this?

The first thing that comes to mind is do not baby him.  Actually that’s a joke around our house.  “Hunter gets anything he wants from mom.”  I’ve had to take a step back and see how much truth is in that statement.  I have to admit that I probably give in to my son on occasion.  But through his teenage years, I’ve tried to demand more of him.  I’ve also seen the importance of a young man being under the direction of godly men.  The past 2 years, three of Hunter’s teachers were men who loved the Lord.  Men who desired to teach from a Biblical perspective, but also shape their students into godly men.  He also plays sports and learns to be tough despite difficult circumstances.

What I’m trying to say is there is a time & place that our sons need to fly from mom’s nest and grow up.  Are you allowing your son to become strong, courageous young men who can eventually protect and provide for their family?  Or, are you “babying” them so they never grow up?

Unfortunately in the homeschool arena, there are too many young men who are not growing up.  It may sound rough, but they are wimps.  What kind of young man is your son growing into?